To Facebook friend or to not Facebook friend

Wise words from a friend who has been married for over (right?) 10 years, well before Facebook - and still gives rockstar advice (S)

K: So, I'm debating sending the new guy a FB friend request. I want to... but then there's that one that I dated earlier this year - kind of wish I hadn't friended him. I can't unfriend him, because we said we'd "be friends," and really, it's not a big deal. 

S: Wait until it's serious enough that you would be comfortable changing your status to "In a Relationship" (I don't actually even have that line listed on my profile anymore, so this is theoretical, in my mind.). Also, once it's a big enough relationship such that it would be silly to not be friends.... if it ends, it would be silly to remain FB friends, because you'll need time apart. 

S: Or, if he sends you a request, just accept it.

K: And not review all of this with him, because then he'll definitely know I'm crazy.

S: Well, you don't need to lift the veil quite so high.

So, there you have it. When to FB friend a guy you're dating.

And for something a little lighter to follow that up, things are still really awesome with the guy I told you about last week. :)

Not sorry it's not funny

It feels strange to blog about a dating situation that's not part of a stand-up comedy routine. Still, even if it only lasts for two days, it's about time - for you, my lovely reader, and me, to enjoy a very sweet dating story. Hopefully this does not jinx it.




Background:
A friend wants to set me up with her housemate. She originally only told him about me, but since I was hardly ever able to make events at her place, she finally broke down and told me that she wants to get us together. 


Saturday:
AM - Email on OkCupid. It's my friend's housemate! He stumbled upon my profile and had to write. He would be in SF on Sat and Sun - maybe we could meet up for coffee on Sunday morning? I sent back my # and said that I might be at the same concert as him on Saturday and yes, we should meet up.


PM - My day did not go as planned, thanks to some rain and intense fog. I didn't make it to the concert, so no meet-up, but eventually we talked. Planned for Sunday morning - 10am, he'd meet me at my house and we'd ride over to a coffee shop out by the ocean. Five miles seemed like a long bike ride for a cup of coffee, but he insisted that it was a good place and besides - aren't I a triathlete? Um. Yes. Right, I am. And I do like riding my bike around town, honestly though, I was a little intimidated - he's into biking and climbing and pretty much everything outdoorsy and from the couple of pictures I saw, he's obviously super fit and I didn't want to be huffing and puffing along side him, at least, not in the first two minutes that we meet. Whatever…I like good coffee and I like when men come forward with a plan.


Sunday:
He picked me up and it was a fun, chill ride out to the ocean. We ended up getting coffee and then breakfast, just a couple doors down from the coffee shop. Conversation was easy. He's super cute. Nice pale blue eyes. In between coffee and breakfast, I got a message that my friend wouldn't be coming to the concert in the park. Bummer! Blue eyes said he'd join me for the group I wanted to see at 1pm and then I was welcome to join him and his friends at another stage. We ended up spending the whole day together! His friends were very kind about adopting me, music was great. He was super prepared and brought snacks and extra clothes for people that may have forgotten about the incoming fog around 6pm. I couldn't say no when he offered to give my bike and me a ride back home. :) A few kisses may have been exchanged. Ooh la la! The kind of crappy part about two busy people trying to go out… we discovered that the only day this week we're both free is Monday. 


So… he's picking me up tonight at 7pm with a plan. We shall see.


Side note - if you didn't go to Hardly Strictly Bluegrass this year, you should definitely try to go next year. There are so many great acts and you pretty much can't go wrong at any of the stages. 

Five things on this fine Tuesday

1. Someone please bake the pie featured in this post -
Scenes from a Pie Contest

2. That Pie Contest? In my effing neighborhood. My hood is awesome. We even had a movie night at Duboce Park on Saturday. Take that, Mission hipsters!

3. I love our San Francisco summer. Please let it last through the weekend. It is glorious. Evidence - post work bike ride, where I snapped this shot with my iPhone:

4. Texts of the day...
Me: You'll be happy to know that I finally upgraded to 1500 texts a month. Also, why the huge jump in options - 200 to 1500? Am I suddenly going to be texting every hour?
G$: Yes.
G$: Welcome to 2005!

H: No way! He's actually a virgin?!? Was that actually confirmed? Wow.
Me: There's no way you could be that clueless about just kissing if you weren't a virgin. Unless he only slept with hookers who wouldn't kiss on the mouth.

5. I finally downloaded an album by Girl Talk. Mashups. Good stuff. Go get it.

Ongoing saga of my dating life...featuring a situation I never thought I'd encounter in my 30s. Also, this post is way too long.

Original nickname: 

"The Geek"

Smart, easy to talk to, funny. And also definitely a geek. 

The situation:

First date - not attracted to him, but had fun. Continued to enjoy his company over dates 2-5, but there was minimal touching, flirting. This is mostly ok - online dating means you're getting to know this person that you met out of nowhere, so it can take time to build a report and trust, etc. Still, the lack of any sort of non-friend interaction isn't really that normal - and I feel like I've given him plenty of opportunities to give it a shot. So, date #5 ended with a friend-esque kiss on the lips, then me trying to kiss him again and it was this sort of mostly closed-mouth nothing. He said, "That was nice." I hopped on my bicycle and sped the hell out of there, confused as hell.

(And, I also mention kissing - as in "you should be a great kisser" - in my profile.)

Still, having fun. And I would like to date someone who's really into me.

Decided to go out again - kind of one last shot. By now, I've already formed this picture in my mind of how he's not just very shy, but also really inexperienced and have changed his nickname to "The 35 Year Old Virgin." But, I am optimistic that he just needs to feel more comfortable and if nothing else, either I'll make a move, or just bring it up and talk about how this is moving towards a friendship.

It's a beautiful, unusually warm summery day in the city. We meet up Sunday. Tentative plans to go to a free concert in the park. Last minute, I say that we should bike out to the beach if the concert's not great. 

He shows up and the first thing - his bike helmet is too small or not on straight or something. His white athletic socks are sticking up strangely from his bike shoes and...anyway, his geekness is showing Big Time. I have, on the other hand, decided to wear my shortest sundress and bikini. I think the picture text I sent to G$ said something like "Hi. These are my legs. Will you kiss me, already?" The concert has a long, long line and doesn't look very appealing, so we head out to the beach.

Long walk, talking, laying on a blanket that I brought. Played a little paddle ball (That I also brought - and we both sucked at.).

Walk back towards our bikes. I'm searching for the right way to go, which means I'm being quiet. Then, towards the end of our walk, I finally Bring Shit Up. Express my thoughts about how this feels like it is entering The Friend Zone, but could still go either way for me. He understands. He likes me. And he's not really experienced with dating. Hm. 

Ooookay, it's still a really nice evening and I'm still on the fence. Let's go to dinner. We roll over to BStar, the relatively new cafe associated with Burma Superstar. Dinner is awesome. Then on to Q for dessert - hot chocolate chip cookies w/milk. I am pretty much the best seat-of-the-pants date planner of all time. 

It's just too bad that he doesn't know what he's working with. Le sigh.

Ride back, I go to where we're going to split up, ask him to pull his bike over, take off his helmet. I go in for a kiss.

And it is awkward. So much so that I say, "Wow. That was awkward." He agrees and then says that he's not really experienced. 

Let's review. I tried to kiss him and it did not work and it's because he's inexperienced?!? As the conversation progresses a little and I sort of press him for a little more on this and he doesn't provide much information, it becomes clear to me that I was not that far off on nickname #2. As in, my error was that he's actually 34 years old.

He's like, yeah, I get it if that's not going to work out for you. I'm pretty much clueless. Oh, and by the way, I go to church too. That's a deal-breaker for some people. But, this is who I am and I've got a lot of other great stuff going on, just don't have experience with girls.

Now I feel like a huuuuge bitch. And this shouldn't be an issue. And I don't really feel like I'm being fair. I mean, I have fun with this guy... but... yeah, it's an Issue.

The outcome:

So I didn't drop him, but I did let him know this unexpected and a lot to figure out. We talked about seeing each other again. 

But the more I think about it... I think that we're in really different places - physical stuff aside, he's just getting started with dating and I've lived with a partner. I've been dating fairly steadily since I was 16. That's 16 years of experience to his... um, not much at all. Not a very even starting line. 

And then you add the physical stuff. 

Well, I feel kind of like a horrible person. Kind of like I need to specify that I would like to date a man and not a boy. Overall...once again, it turns into a story.

Five minute rule?

The scene: An outdoor, backyard birthday party. There's day drinking, flippy cup, cheap beer, catered snacks and good wine. Mid 20s-mid 30s crowd. There are plenty of couples, but also some single folks hanging out. Also, a lot of smokers (yuck).


I eventually find myself talking music with two cuties. Great. One was controlling the music via a sweet iPhone app that connected to his computer's iTunes up in his apartment, one was one of the few people who did not need to take a smoke break during flippy cup (and also was sporting a cute cowboy hat). Flirting ensues and I'm a happy girl. Music boy agrees to download a Janelle Monae song (you should listen and download too - I recommend the entire album, actually) that I found earlier that day and patted our collective backs for bringing the party up and dancing.


Anyway, I found out through the hostess that Music boy (who lives in the same building as the hostess) has a girlfriend - and he eventually went back to his place. Cowboy hat, though, she said was single. Sweet.


We eventually all went back inside and there was a joint that was about to get passed around. I grabbed Cowboy hat's arm and took him to the hallway so I could "talk" to him before he had his puff. Turns out he's "got a thing with his roommate." Awesome. I pretty much wanted to run and hide. (turns out that there was either an identity mix-up with the hostess and this is a relatively new "thing") 


I stuck around for a bit and walked everyone over to a bar, then hopped on my bike and rode home. Waking up at 5:30 is a good excuse to leave a party by 10pm and I needed to sober up a little in preparation for a two mile swim race the next morning.


Couple of days later, I'm proud of myself for (with a nice buzz-induced sense of confidence) at least trying... but really, we need some sort of tagging system for this stuff. I mean, I would have kept chatting with both of them, I just wouldn't have tried to make out with either of them.


Or, as this woman suggests, a Five Minute Rule.

yes or no

Now's a great time to complete your Relationship Questionnaire!

When you do, you can begin receiving matches who are deeply compatible with you. Plus, you can take advantage of our special 10^th anniversary subscription offer–4 months of eHarmony for the price of 1!*

So finish your questionnaire today and can take advantage of this great deal–it only lasts through September 23^rd, 2010.

Sincerely,
eHarmony


*To take advantage of this special offer, click the "Subscribe Now" button above and sign in. You will be billed in one installment of $59.85. This offer expires September 23rd, 2010 at 11:59pm PT. After the expiration of the promotional period, your account will automatically renew at the rate of $29.95 per month in accordance with the Terms and Conditions of Service.

If we're keeping score...

Went on a date last night, kind of maybe leaning towards friend territory. Could be because the three dates have been kind of spaced out. Date #1 - drinks, Date #2 - lunch, Date #3 - dinner.

Anyway, the scene.
9pm, after a long day for me... Swim, work, spin. So I'm tired. Ethiopian restaurant, near my house. Very chill, kind of random vibe - bar in the front, homey restaurant in the back with a pool table. We're ordering and I ended up asking for a Bud Light. I wanted a beer, but really knew that I'd pass out immediately if I had something more substantial. I expressed my embarrassment. We laughed at my choice and discussed appropriate times for such beers*.  Ultimately, he said,

"That's okay. You've got cool points to burn."

Nicest thing a guy has said to me in a long time. 

Oh, and I still ended up finishing dinner by saying that, despite the fact that I was enjoying talking with him, I needed to go home and go to sleep.

*San Francisco is so not a Bud Light town, which sometimes sucks. I like a Coors/Miller/Bud Light now and then.

online dating update...

1. getting fewer emails from guys who don't fit my geographic preferences, which is great
2. was emailing back and forth with a guy for while who seemed pretty cool, but i haven't heard from him in a few days. i don't really get excited about anyone that i've never met in person, so i'm not concerned about it. i may write him a little hello later, i may not. this indifference probably shows through in my emails and may be one of the reasons why i haven't gone out with anyone yet.
3. i have a variety of pictures up on my profile - sporty, silly, dressed up, casual. a (guy) friend who's also on okcupid read my profile through and said that it was different from a lot of other women on the site - he said that pretty much every other profile states something about how she's comfortable at a baseball game or the opera, jeans and a tshirt or an evening gown... that sort of thing. instead, i've chosen to show that with pictures. so what do i get? a one liner from a guy who says, "it looks like there are three different girls in your pics. how am i supposed to know which one is you?" uh.... yeah. obviously the swim goggles aren't a permanent fixture, nor is the pink wig.*sigh*

so yeah, okc may be on the way out, unless i email with someone that i really want to meet in person. tough to compare online and in-person. just had an awesome hour-long phone conversation last night with a guy i met out on thursday night. what?!? i don't even like talking on the phone. and it's been a long ass time since i've talked to a guy for any length of time*. we're going out on friday. we'll see. i think this may be the second (maybe third?) time i've actually gone out with a guy that i randomly met at a bar.

*you may recall the triathlete? he was the most awkward phone person of all time. after our first 10 minute conversation (i generally limit my long social calls to a handful of friends and my mom), i hung up the phone feeling confused. i waited a few minutes. thought about what a strange call i just experienced... and then called him back to ask him if something was up or if both of us were just being awkward. he confessed that he is really bad on the phone, that it wasn't me. i never called him again. texted to do last-minute planning, email for a little communication and then talked in person.

Apparently, I *do* come with an operating manual

http://howtodateatriathlete.com/

Have we met before?

The latest (not a direct quote, but pretty close to it):
You look really familiar. Maybe we know each other from somewhere, or I've just seen you around town. You sound interesting. Want to go get a drink.

My response (also not exact, since this *is* the NOW WITH MORE SNARK edition of the Online Man Safari):
Yes, dumbass. We went out once. A few years ago, when we were both on Match. You said you were 5'8" and you're actually about 5'4". Since I know that shorter guys do tend to inflate their height a little bit, I gave you the benefit of the doubt and purposely wore flats. Height aside, you're also not that bright. I know this because I have the sense of humor of a 12 year old boy and you didn't get my jokes.

Oh, and your band sucks.

dating snob

Yay! Comments...

M-dub said...

I love More Snark!

And agreed that "wassup" + wifebeater = meh, at best. (Was that the tattooed bicycle racer?)

---------------------

Nope. Of course, the (cute) tattooed bicycle racer hasn't written me back yet. Not even to say "wassup"... and even though *he* initiated it.

The wifebeater'd wassup guy. Hmm... Well, as it turns out, his *only* picture is the one where he's rocking the wifebeater. And it just so happens to be a Diesel wifebeater. Yeah. 

Otherwise, it's been pretty quiet. A few randoms here and there that say hello and then I say hello, thanks... but no thanks because xyz (usually due to geography, age, interest, something aside from "I don't find you remotely attractive.") Gotten enough emails from guys who live far away, so I've added a line in my profile that says that I find it enough of a challenge seeing my friends that I can't get to via BART/MUNI/bike ride (xoxo San Jose ladies!) and that I'm not interested in seeing someone who lives far away. Still got a guy from San Jose who wrote back AGAIN saying that he's in SF "all the time." Crap. Just say "I don't have a car and don't want to go out with someone who lives in SJ," or ignore? 

It's stuff like this that makes me realize that pictures and a profile are super important. Oh, and that I'm a total dating snob. If I thought that he was super attractive or hilarious or we had a ton in common, I'd probably suggest we get together sometime when he's in SF. But, based off four pictures and a few lines (his profile is really short and vague and uninteresting) of text, I'm saying that there's no chance that it would work out and just saying no. Oh well. There are plenty of dudes out there that aren't knocking down my (online) door....

snarkfest 2010

Oh, right. So I'm single again. Shocking to all, I know. Clearly, I'm devastated.

And again considering (that's what happens when you write a post, then save it) online dating. At least just having a profile up somewhere. Of course, that went so well last time.... Yeah. Why am I considering doing this again? Because it *is* kind of fun. And it's tough to meet single, straight guys. And I just read some stat - like 20% of all relationships start online now! Crazy, huh?

Anyway, if there's anything you think I should definitely put in my profile, let me know. Lines you'd use if you were making yourself a page, a story or topic I should touch on, a type of picture I should use...

Some of the questions include filling in the blanks: I am __________, ____________ and ___________.

What people first notice about me...

......
So far, the best thing is that there's an iPhone app for the site. Which means that on my Sunday evening train ride back home from a bike ride, I could respond to the tattooed, cute former bicycle "I've been slacking on the miles lately, perhaps I just need to find someone to motivate me" racer, that I was just returning from a sweet ride up near Sacramento.

Unfortunately, I haven't figured out how to turn OFF the chat option on my phone. Chat transcript:
bud: hi
me: hello there, you surprised me. i didn't realize that chat was on.
bud: wassup

Really? This is not a beer commercial. You can do better than that. Also, I'm a sucker for nice arms, but your initial profile pic is not the time for a wife-beater.

That's right folks, online dating with Kirby, part II (?), this time with More Snark.

HGRB

Into guys? Into smart* guys? Into smart, hot guys? Add this to your Google Reader (RSS feed, whatev).






*Ok, if you've clicked on the link, you might think... book reading doesn't necessarily mean they're intelligent. Yes. That's accurate. You can make up whatever story you want to go with each photo. My hot guys reading books are generally brilliant.

some...

Some links:
http://www.patspapers.com/blog/item/what_if_everybody_flushed_at_once_Edmonton_water_gold_medal_hockey_game/
This makes me laugh.

As a kid, I was convinced that if I swallowed a piece of gum, it would stay in my stomach/intestines for seven years. I don't know where the seven came from, but this post makes me think that there's some truth to that - http://missionlocal.org/2010/03/street-science-the-gum-we-step-in/

Some news:
The relationship with the triathlete is still in progress, despite my continuous worries that I'm going to fuck it up.

My birthday happened. It was fun. I love my friends. 32 is not horrible.

Some PSAs:
One more week to get your Easter candy, folks. Those Cadbury's Mini Eggs won't be around forever (thank goodness)!

Sunscreen. It's important. I forgot to put it on this weekend and, while I love having a little color, I don't want skin cancer or wrinkles. Or this stupid bike jersey tan line.

music and feelings and broccoli

1. Mixtape recommended by one of the many food bloggers that populates my Google Reader. Mash-ups. Iz good. Download it naow.

2. Website: We Feel Fine.

How it works:

At the core of We Feel Fine is a data collection engine that automatically scours the Internet every ten minutes, harvesting human feelings from a large number of blogs. Blog data comes from a variety of online sources, including LiveJournal, MSN Spaces, MySpace, Blogger, Flickr, Technorati, Feedster, Ice Rocket, and Google.

We Feel Fine scans blog posts for occurrences of the phrases "I feel" and "I am feeling". This is an approach that was inspired by techniques used in Listening Post, a wonderful project by Ben Rubin and Mark Hansen.

Check it out. There are a few different ways to visualize the results, as well as limit it to certain populations of authors. I may throw up an "I feel" statement every so often, just so maybe it can become part of this design project.

Right now:
I feel unfocused.

3. Things with "the guy who likes weirdos" are going pretty well. I'm finding that I have to be a lot more explicit about what I want and need than maybe I'd like, but he seems to be a pretty fast learner, and open to some change. So I'm going to continue to ask (a little at a time) and see how it goes. If nothing else, I'll leave him better than I found him, right?  

4. I hurt my neck. Either at the gym this morning, or within the last hour. It hurts all along the right side. I want a massage.

5. My birthday is in two weeks. I don't really care. I'm not excited about it. I feel a little inadequate when I think about what being 32 years old used to mean to me - as in, my mom had my younger sister when she was 32. What about all the shit that I thought would have happened by now... like a house, a job where I have an office with a door, a husband, a child...It's like I need those things in order to "be an adult."
Which, is bullshit.
A. Why do I want to be an adult? and
B. Of course, there are plenty of things I've done that I never would have thought I would do... get my MBA, live in San Francisco, get rid of my car, essentially be Kirby 2.0, triathlons, own a pet, live alone.
C. 32 is not that old.
D. Really, what I want is to be happy. Whatever that means for now.

6. Looking forward to travel this year. Alaska and Peru. Plans have been kind of stalled, but I am going to make it happen.

7. Half ironman is less than two months away. I am nervous.

8. I have a head of broccoli and half a head of cauliflower in my fridge that should get cooked tonight. But I'll be getting back home pretty late. Any fantastic ideas? Also - and more importantly, how on earth do you cut either of those vegetables without getting little bits of cauliflower/broccoli all over the place? I cut up half the cauliflower last night and have cauli-crumbs on the floor, the counter... wtf? HELP!

9. I decided to write nine things because it's the ninth. Hmmm... I love Easter candy.

PUA confirms what we all know...

I just read an article filled with funny, anecdotal evidence about the craptastic dating scene (for straight women) in San Francisco. Thought you'd be amused as well.

Oh, and my latest man safari update? I'm "dating" two guys, but am pretty sure that I want/need them to be merged into one person. Do I decide which qualities are actually more important to me? Or, just move on? For now I'm having fun with both of them for different reasons and want to get to know them better.

From SF Weekly...

Girl Game: A world-famous pickup artist tried to teach single women to attract decent guys in SF. It was harder than he thought.

For the next two weeks, it seemed the guy always wanted to sleep over at Valencia's place in Hayes Valley, which she initially didn't think was unusual. But as time passed, she started to suspect that her new love interest was intentionally keeping her out of his home.

It turned out he didn't have one. She was dating a homeless man...

"I continued to see him a couple more times," she says. "Then he dumped me."

Although Valencia has yet to meet anyone else who has been seduced and then dumped by a homeless man, the whole ordeal strikes her as "very San Francisco."

-----
"I've never seen so much dating down in my life," a woman wrote, referring to how many couples she knows that seem to include a smart, attractive woman and an average, barely tolerable guy.

...had better luck in cities like Paris and Chicago, where she says men are forward about what they want. "They'll buy you drinks and talk to you," she says. "They act like they're interested, and it's so refreshing." 
 

In San Francisco, though, women have to deal with a lot of ambiguity. "We don't even know what it is," Valencia said of some men she has encountered around the city. "Is it gay? Is it straight? Is it a friend? Is it a foe? Is it looking for a job? Is it looking for a place to crash?"

Another contributing factor to the dating doldrums: "There's no pressure to grow up here," she says. "The way I act now is pretty much the same way I acted when I was 24. It's culturally reinforced here. Nobody cares that you're in your late 30s and have roommates."

-----

...there are 60,045 single heterosexual men and 68,749 single heterosexual women in the age range we examined.

-----

[the women trying advice from a pick-up artist] "We were on our way out, but you guys look ... interesting," she said. "We just wanted to come say hello and introduce ourselves."

Though a bit weirded out, the guys offered us seats, and even asked if we'd like beers.

That was easy.

The conversation meandered from North Face apparel to Mad Men to the Carolina-Duke basketball game, and finally the men asked us what we were doing that night. We said we were part of, um, a seminar. "We're learning how to pick up men," Walters announced, seizing her opportunity. "How are we doing?"

Looking a little taken aback, the men said we'd done well, and that it was refreshing to have women come to them. But they weren't entirely impressed. "You focused a lot of your attention on him," one said, indicating his friend. "It was a little aggressive." Another awarded us a B-plus.

We left the Tipsy Pig without getting any numbers.

-----

[at the next bar]...And, finally, there were two men off in the corner. They were hot.

Soul beckoned to Stevenson and Pattee and prepped them on how to approach. They should be casual. Smile a lot. Flip hair if necessary.

They slowly made their way toward the men, stopping every few steps to whisper something about strategy. They didn't want to blow this opportunity. But when the women got within about five feet of the men, they abruptly turned and hustled back to the group.

"Gay," Pattee explained.

"How do you know?" Soul asked.

"We just know," Stevenson said. In fact, the men were practically sitting in each other's laps.

-----

"He's jammin' the clam," Stevenson joked, using the female version of "cockblock."

-----

Valencia said her mother has a theory about men. "A good guy is like a good bra," she used to say. "He should uplift and make you look beautiful. He should fit really well. He should flatter you and never poke you in the wrong place or make you uncomfortable."

nice stroke. heh heh heh.

Momentary feeling of pure awesomeness yesterday...
Recently started taking spin classes with my triathlon club at M2 Revolution, a local biking/triathlon training center that is owned by Michael McCormick, a former professional triathlete.

TWICE in yesterday's class he commented on my pedal stroke. First, he just stopped by my bike and said that my pedal stroke looked good and asked if I rode a lot. I, of course, was flabbergasted (and in the middle of a 10 minute interval) and mumbled something incoherent along the lines of "kind of." Then in our last interval, a strong 30 second push, he POINTED ME OUT in the class and said that I was showing a good example of a strong pedal stroke.

So, why did that feel so awesome?
Pedal stroke is a pretty big deal. Newer riders tend to just push down on the pedal. Eventually, you learn that you get more power when you also consciously pull UP as well (obviously this is when you're clipped into the pedals). The result is (and here's where I'm kind of talking out my ass here, since I don't know if I can visually tell the difference) a revolution that looks like a smooth circle, without the chop of the push/pull.

Hills are a great way to work on pulling up, since your cadence is probably a little lower and you're working against more resistance. AND you'll want every muscle working to get you TO THE TOP!

I've been considering getting a new bike. That session pretty much solidified it for me. I mean, if a professional triathlete (who, according to folks who have been in the class for a while, does not give out compliments too often) is going to say something like that, I'm due for an upgrade from my first road bike!!!


More bike geekery, from RoadBikeRider's weekly newsletter:

Cyclists come in all shapes and sizes. Here's a guide to the menagerie:

   Climber
Body type:  lung on a stick
Distinguishing bike characteristic:  single water bottle cage, no valve caps
If not a cyclist, would be:  runner, supermodel or loincloth-wearing ascetic
Favorite conversation topics:  weight in grams of cable end caps; long-forgotten taste of ice cream
In the peloton, likes to:  hide

   Sprinter
Body type:  quads the size of beer kegs, elbows sharper than a stiletto, multiple road-rash scars
Distinguishing bike characteristic:  11-tooth cog, shredded front-tire sidewall from sticking wheel into tight places such as others' cassettes
If not a cyclist, would be:  street fighter
Favorite conversation topics:  anything involving smack talk
In the peloton, likes to:  yell at everyone to "Close that gap!" but never takes a pull

   Time Trialist
Body type:  flexible enough to join Chinese acrobat troupe
Distinguishing bike characteristic:  aerodynamic frame, wheels, handlebar, water bottle, cable end caps
If not a cyclist, would be:  computer programmer or engineer
Favorite conversation topics:  drag coefficients, most recent visit to wind tunnel, slipperiness of skinsuit
In the peloton, likes to:  get on the front and ride, dammit

   Commuter
Body type:  N/A
Distinguishing bike characteristic:  grime
If not a cyclist, would be:  NASCAR driver
Favorite conversation topics:  carbon footprints, climate change, recyclability of objects not commonly known to be recyclable
In the peloton, likes to:  ring handlebar bell

   Ultradistance Rider
Body type:  all of the above
Distinguishing bike characteristic:  lights, handlebar bag and/or large seat bag, comfy saddle
If not a cyclist, would be:  institutionalized
Favorite conversation topics:  food, miles/kilometers ridden, food, extreme weather experiences, food
In the peloton, likes to:  "Peloton?"


----------
and in other news... re: boys. when it rains, it pours. but we all knew that already, right?

This is what happens when you ask me a simple question about trash...

Again with the emails. This one is between the guy who's into weirdos and me.

Guy:
"Which is better, composting or recycling?"

Me:
 no solid answer, but here are some pros and cons of each. composting seems like a clear winner, until you get to the part where recycling actually reduces the production of NEW materials, which is always a very good thing.

composting -

• material is handled locally, reducing GHG/costs associated with transportation
• output is an organic soil amendment
• keeps organic matter out of the landfill, where it would be producing methane
• the program can be expensive to implement and maintain
• may falsely encourage people to be less conservative in creating green waste

recycling -

• some materials are transported a long distance to be processed (plastic & paper are sent to china, for example). however, often times these materials are loaded into container ships that might otherwise be returned completely empty
• output material replaces virgin materials, which is less environmentally and energy intensive
• keeps materials out of the landfill where it may produce methane while biodegrading, or leach toxins into groundwater supplies (in the case of some plastics & batteries)
• cost to municipality varies greatly with the price of recyclables
• some materials - like glass and metal are truly recycled - some plastics are severely downcycled into products that are not as useful
• may falsely encourage wasteful products since it is "recyclable" after a single use

also, i'm not an expert. i'm pretty darn educated on the topic, but this would be a better discussion with actual numbers to back up each of the points.

guy:
Wow, I'm not going to lie to you, that was a much more detailed response then I expected.  How about this (you gotta dumb these things down for me) if I have a clean napkin should I recycle it or compost it?

me:
compost
-------------------
If it had been a clean piece of paper, I would have said to recycle. But a napkin? That's not going to be recycled into a piece of writing paper. Maybe into tp? I'm not really sure. If anyone cares to comment, I'm definitely interested in learning!

Stone fox

Turns out the guy from last week doesn't think I'm a total weirdo. Or, if he does... he's into that sort of thing. Huzzah!


Despite my single-on-Valentine's-Day-since-2007 status, I'm fairly indifferent towards Valentine's Day. Not totally tnto it, but I have coworkers that like to make holiday cookies and share candy. And I AM into that. I'm also into overheard quotes - such as the ones in this article from today's SFGate.com.

-- "Dude, what's 'stone fox'?" "Old school for 'hottie.' " (Two teenage girls, overheard in the parking lot of a Corte Madera shopping center by Anne Capron)

-- "I'm not usually this forward, but can I help you get your s- together?" (Middle-aged man to younger woman cleaning up after her dog, overheard at a Sausalito dog park by Alison Marquiss)

-- "We didn't click at first, but after four cocktails, I realized he was really cute." (Woman to woman, overheard at SFO by Roger Thornhill)

-- "I don't know what to talk to him about." "Talk to him about ecology." "Yeah, but what do I say?" "Tell him you're worried about the planet." (Young woman getting advice from older woman, overheard in a Kaiser cafeteria by Matt Perry)