Olympic lifting humor

Olympic lifts. They have funny names. There's the clean, the jerk... the clean AND jerk. And the snatch.

We do all of these at Crossfit. And while I can generally get through a clean & jerk workout without snickering like a 12 year old boy, it's a different story when it comes to snatches.

So when my coach told me today that, "You have to be patient with the snatch," you can really imagine my reaction. Luckily, my coach has a wonderful sense of humor, heard my laughter and added, "All kinds of snatches."

Eleven months later...

I finally donated blood. New Year's Resolution complete. (For what it's worth, I've used my crockpot a bunch over the past month as well.)

Also almost donated some blood on my bike ride in to work today. Damn rain. Stayed rubber-side down, but ended up nailing my paw on a MUNI (bus) stop.

Carbon footprint of booze

Awesome. Thanks, Mother Jones. Now we can feel eco-guilt for drinking, too. I didn't know that vodka is the most energy-intensive booze to manufacture, or that tons of pesticides are used on agave plants.

Some tips:

• For beer...Kegs > cans > bottles
• Organic when possible
• Reduce shipping distance
• See the line on the map shown at the bottom of the article for when to buy CA wine, when to buy Euro-wine (Notably, Chile and Australia aren't even mentioned)

VV

Velo Vogue is a bike-centric, picture-heavy, San Francisco-loving blog that I enjoy having in my Google Reader.

That said, this post has no pictures. But does a good job of summing up the fun and feelings of biking in The City (And I think it holds true for men too - don't know why the author chose to call out just her gender in the title.)

How a Woman Feels on a Bike

An apple a day...

Long article from the NYT linked below, but interesting - use of a ketogenic diet (high-fat, some protein, v low carbohydrate) to treat childhood epilepsy.
Epilipsy's Big, Fat Miracle

Definitely continues my interest in food as medicine... post to come on my month on the Paleo Diet.

To Facebook friend or to not Facebook friend

Wise words from a friend who has been married for over (right?) 10 years, well before Facebook - and still gives rockstar advice (S)

K: So, I'm debating sending the new guy a FB friend request. I want to... but then there's that one that I dated earlier this year - kind of wish I hadn't friended him. I can't unfriend him, because we said we'd "be friends," and really, it's not a big deal. 

S: Wait until it's serious enough that you would be comfortable changing your status to "In a Relationship" (I don't actually even have that line listed on my profile anymore, so this is theoretical, in my mind.). Also, once it's a big enough relationship such that it would be silly to not be friends.... if it ends, it would be silly to remain FB friends, because you'll need time apart. 

S: Or, if he sends you a request, just accept it.

K: And not review all of this with him, because then he'll definitely know I'm crazy.

S: Well, you don't need to lift the veil quite so high.

So, there you have it. When to FB friend a guy you're dating.

Solar Roadways

Solar Roadways: A Shining Vision Posted: 18 Nov 2010 01:28 PM PST By: Jonathan Marshall So far this week we’ve seen how America’s crumbling roads, and its environmental needs, might be fixed by replacing asphalt with cleaner, renewable bioasphalt or bioengineered sandstone. But Idaho-based inventors Scott and Julie Brusaw believe we need to think much bigger. They propose nothing less than paving roads with solar panels. The idea may sound fanciful, but their unique Solar Roadways concept won the first GE Ecoimagination Challenge award last month, with its $50,000 prize. Last year they received a contract from the Federal Highway Administration to build their first prototype. Their idea is to combine embedded solar cells, which (hopefully) pay for themselves over time by generating power, with heating elements to de-ice the surface in northern climates and LEDs to mark road lines for safer night-time driving. The surface would be made of tough, weatherproof, textured, non-slick glass to let sunlight into the solar cells and make the LEDs visible at night. Microprocessors installed every 12 feet would control lighting, communications and monitoring. Another layer would carry electric power and data signals for high-speed Internet, video and other communications. When installed everywhere, they envision, “The Solar Roadway becomes an intelligent, self-healing, decentralized (secure) power grid.” Based on reasonable estimates of efficiency, and four hours of sunlight a day, they figure that their solar roads would produce about 3.3 megawatt-hours of energy per lane mile each day, about as much energy as 107 average American homes used in 2007. Besides selling electricity (and charging electric vehicles), the roads could make money by selling high-speed data and video services and advertising (through lit LEDs on the road). (Not that the world needs any more advertising, but it might be a worthwhile tradeoff if we could get rid of billboards.) Their bottom line may be a tad optimistic, but it’s worth shooting for: Unlike current road systems, it will pay for itself over time. No more Global Warming. No more power outages (roaming or otherwise). Safer driving conditions. Far less pollution. A new secure highway infrastructure that pays for itself. A decentralized, self-healing, secure power grid. No more dependency on foreign oil. Who would have thought that reinventing roads could be so much fun?

Run Carrot, run!

Helmet hair

Is a bike helmet really that bad? Or do I just really not care about my hair enough?

Photo 1: Helmet is "on," but inactive

Photo 2: Helmet is active

That said, I'm sure that this sort of technology might be really useful for other body parts or sports.

Airbag Helmet from Treehugger

you're going to want to click on that picture to embiggen it.

Stolen from SFist.com/

who stole it from

sfcurbed.com/

who stole it from 

generic1.tumblr.com/

And for something a little lighter to follow that up, things are still really awesome with the guy I told you about last week. :)

PANCAN.org

Pancreatic cancer remains the fourth leading cause of cancer death in the U.S. The five-year survival rate stands at a miniscule 6%. Even more distressing is that this survival rate has not changed significantly in nearly 40 years. 


I know there are a million causes that need money. Heck, I'm sure we all know at least five friends or family members who are unemployed or underemployed. But, I do try to donate to charities anyway. Pancreatic cancer is an issue that is close to my heart. This year will mark 20 years after my dad died from pancreatic cancer. 


For more information, check out this link on the Pancreatic Cancer Action Network's site. 

You may need this gif sometime. It was in a newsletter for a ride I'm doing this weekend and I thought it was worth sharing.

Not sorry it's not funny

It feels strange to blog about a dating situation that's not part of a stand-up comedy routine. Still, even if it only lasts for two days, it's about time - for you, my lovely reader, and me, to enjoy a very sweet dating story. Hopefully this does not jinx it.




Background:
A friend wants to set me up with her housemate. She originally only told him about me, but since I was hardly ever able to make events at her place, she finally broke down and told me that she wants to get us together. 


Saturday:
AM - Email on OkCupid. It's my friend's housemate! He stumbled upon my profile and had to write. He would be in SF on Sat and Sun - maybe we could meet up for coffee on Sunday morning? I sent back my # and said that I might be at the same concert as him on Saturday and yes, we should meet up.


PM - My day did not go as planned, thanks to some rain and intense fog. I didn't make it to the concert, so no meet-up, but eventually we talked. Planned for Sunday morning - 10am, he'd meet me at my house and we'd ride over to a coffee shop out by the ocean. Five miles seemed like a long bike ride for a cup of coffee, but he insisted that it was a good place and besides - aren't I a triathlete? Um. Yes. Right, I am. And I do like riding my bike around town, honestly though, I was a little intimidated - he's into biking and climbing and pretty much everything outdoorsy and from the couple of pictures I saw, he's obviously super fit and I didn't want to be huffing and puffing along side him, at least, not in the first two minutes that we meet. Whatever…I like good coffee and I like when men come forward with a plan.


Sunday:
He picked me up and it was a fun, chill ride out to the ocean. We ended up getting coffee and then breakfast, just a couple doors down from the coffee shop. Conversation was easy. He's super cute. Nice pale blue eyes. In between coffee and breakfast, I got a message that my friend wouldn't be coming to the concert in the park. Bummer! Blue eyes said he'd join me for the group I wanted to see at 1pm and then I was welcome to join him and his friends at another stage. We ended up spending the whole day together! His friends were very kind about adopting me, music was great. He was super prepared and brought snacks and extra clothes for people that may have forgotten about the incoming fog around 6pm. I couldn't say no when he offered to give my bike and me a ride back home. :) A few kisses may have been exchanged. Ooh la la! The kind of crappy part about two busy people trying to go out… we discovered that the only day this week we're both free is Monday. 


So… he's picking me up tonight at 7pm with a plan. We shall see.


Side note - if you didn't go to Hardly Strictly Bluegrass this year, you should definitely try to go next year. There are so many great acts and you pretty much can't go wrong at any of the stages. 

Five things on this fine Tuesday

1. Someone please bake the pie featured in this post -
Scenes from a Pie Contest

2. That Pie Contest? In my effing neighborhood. My hood is awesome. We even had a movie night at Duboce Park on Saturday. Take that, Mission hipsters!

3. I love our San Francisco summer. Please let it last through the weekend. It is glorious. Evidence - post work bike ride, where I snapped this shot with my iPhone:

4. Texts of the day...
Me: You'll be happy to know that I finally upgraded to 1500 texts a month. Also, why the huge jump in options - 200 to 1500? Am I suddenly going to be texting every hour?
G$: Yes.
G$: Welcome to 2005!

H: No way! He's actually a virgin?!? Was that actually confirmed? Wow.
Me: There's no way you could be that clueless about just kissing if you weren't a virgin. Unless he only slept with hookers who wouldn't kiss on the mouth.

5. I finally downloaded an album by Girl Talk. Mashups. Good stuff. Go get it.

Ongoing saga of my dating life...featuring a situation I never thought I'd encounter in my 30s. Also, this post is way too long.

Original nickname: 

"The Geek"

Smart, easy to talk to, funny. And also definitely a geek. 

The situation:

First date - not attracted to him, but had fun. Continued to enjoy his company over dates 2-5, but there was minimal touching, flirting. This is mostly ok - online dating means you're getting to know this person that you met out of nowhere, so it can take time to build a report and trust, etc. Still, the lack of any sort of non-friend interaction isn't really that normal - and I feel like I've given him plenty of opportunities to give it a shot. So, date #5 ended with a friend-esque kiss on the lips, then me trying to kiss him again and it was this sort of mostly closed-mouth nothing. He said, "That was nice." I hopped on my bicycle and sped the hell out of there, confused as hell.

(And, I also mention kissing - as in "you should be a great kisser" - in my profile.)

Still, having fun. And I would like to date someone who's really into me.

Decided to go out again - kind of one last shot. By now, I've already formed this picture in my mind of how he's not just very shy, but also really inexperienced and have changed his nickname to "The 35 Year Old Virgin." But, I am optimistic that he just needs to feel more comfortable and if nothing else, either I'll make a move, or just bring it up and talk about how this is moving towards a friendship.

It's a beautiful, unusually warm summery day in the city. We meet up Sunday. Tentative plans to go to a free concert in the park. Last minute, I say that we should bike out to the beach if the concert's not great. 

He shows up and the first thing - his bike helmet is too small or not on straight or something. His white athletic socks are sticking up strangely from his bike shoes and...anyway, his geekness is showing Big Time. I have, on the other hand, decided to wear my shortest sundress and bikini. I think the picture text I sent to G$ said something like "Hi. These are my legs. Will you kiss me, already?" The concert has a long, long line and doesn't look very appealing, so we head out to the beach.

Long walk, talking, laying on a blanket that I brought. Played a little paddle ball (That I also brought - and we both sucked at.).

Walk back towards our bikes. I'm searching for the right way to go, which means I'm being quiet. Then, towards the end of our walk, I finally Bring Shit Up. Express my thoughts about how this feels like it is entering The Friend Zone, but could still go either way for me. He understands. He likes me. And he's not really experienced with dating. Hm. 

Ooookay, it's still a really nice evening and I'm still on the fence. Let's go to dinner. We roll over to BStar, the relatively new cafe associated with Burma Superstar. Dinner is awesome. Then on to Q for dessert - hot chocolate chip cookies w/milk. I am pretty much the best seat-of-the-pants date planner of all time. 

It's just too bad that he doesn't know what he's working with. Le sigh.

Ride back, I go to where we're going to split up, ask him to pull his bike over, take off his helmet. I go in for a kiss.

And it is awkward. So much so that I say, "Wow. That was awkward." He agrees and then says that he's not really experienced. 

Let's review. I tried to kiss him and it did not work and it's because he's inexperienced?!? As the conversation progresses a little and I sort of press him for a little more on this and he doesn't provide much information, it becomes clear to me that I was not that far off on nickname #2. As in, my error was that he's actually 34 years old.

He's like, yeah, I get it if that's not going to work out for you. I'm pretty much clueless. Oh, and by the way, I go to church too. That's a deal-breaker for some people. But, this is who I am and I've got a lot of other great stuff going on, just don't have experience with girls.

Now I feel like a huuuuge bitch. And this shouldn't be an issue. And I don't really feel like I'm being fair. I mean, I have fun with this guy... but... yeah, it's an Issue.

The outcome:

So I didn't drop him, but I did let him know this unexpected and a lot to figure out. We talked about seeing each other again. 

But the more I think about it... I think that we're in really different places - physical stuff aside, he's just getting started with dating and I've lived with a partner. I've been dating fairly steadily since I was 16. That's 16 years of experience to his... um, not much at all. Not a very even starting line. 

And then you add the physical stuff. 

Well, I feel kind of like a horrible person. Kind of like I need to specify that I would like to date a man and not a boy. Overall...once again, it turns into a story.

Five minute rule?

The scene: An outdoor, backyard birthday party. There's day drinking, flippy cup, cheap beer, catered snacks and good wine. Mid 20s-mid 30s crowd. There are plenty of couples, but also some single folks hanging out. Also, a lot of smokers (yuck).


I eventually find myself talking music with two cuties. Great. One was controlling the music via a sweet iPhone app that connected to his computer's iTunes up in his apartment, one was one of the few people who did not need to take a smoke break during flippy cup (and also was sporting a cute cowboy hat). Flirting ensues and I'm a happy girl. Music boy agrees to download a Janelle Monae song (you should listen and download too - I recommend the entire album, actually) that I found earlier that day and patted our collective backs for bringing the party up and dancing.


Anyway, I found out through the hostess that Music boy (who lives in the same building as the hostess) has a girlfriend - and he eventually went back to his place. Cowboy hat, though, she said was single. Sweet.


We eventually all went back inside and there was a joint that was about to get passed around. I grabbed Cowboy hat's arm and took him to the hallway so I could "talk" to him before he had his puff. Turns out he's "got a thing with his roommate." Awesome. I pretty much wanted to run and hide. (turns out that there was either an identity mix-up with the hostess and this is a relatively new "thing") 


I stuck around for a bit and walked everyone over to a bar, then hopped on my bike and rode home. Waking up at 5:30 is a good excuse to leave a party by 10pm and I needed to sober up a little in preparation for a two mile swim race the next morning.


Couple of days later, I'm proud of myself for (with a nice buzz-induced sense of confidence) at least trying... but really, we need some sort of tagging system for this stuff. I mean, I would have kept chatting with both of them, I just wouldn't have tried to make out with either of them.


Or, as this woman suggests, a Five Minute Rule.

since craigslist is in trouble for various services, i thought i'd try the drive thru...

apparently, today's the day for unintentional/intentional somewhat-dirty-but-not-really-at-all one liners.

swiped from a friend of a friend's facebook wall, we bring you...

Horniest dinosaur ever discovered

Horniest dinosaur ever discovered – Kosmoceratops – found in Utah

The newly unearthed dinosaur Kosmoceratops, which lived in the swamps of what is now southern Utah, sported 15 horns

• Ian Sample, science correspondent
• guardian.co.uk, Wednesday 22 September 2010 17.00 BST

Fossil hunters have uncovered the remains of an ancient beast that can lay claim to the dubious title of the horniest animal ever to walk the Earth.

The creature lived 76 million years ago in the warm, wet swamps of what is now southern Utah and was remarkable in bearing 15 full-sized horns on its head.

The animal, named Kosmoceratops, had an enormous two metre-long skull, was five metres from snout to tail and weighed an estimated 2.5 tonnes.

"These animals are basically oversized rhinos with a whole lot more horns on their heads. They had huge heads relative to their body size," said Scott Sampson a researcher at the Utah Museum of Natural History.

For more on this crazy awesome dinosaur, go here.

yes or no

Now's a great time to complete your Relationship Questionnaire!

When you do, you can begin receiving matches who are deeply compatible with you. Plus, you can take advantage of our special 10^th anniversary subscription offer–4 months of eHarmony for the price of 1!*

So finish your questionnaire today and can take advantage of this great deal–it only lasts through September 23^rd, 2010.

Sincerely,
eHarmony


*To take advantage of this special offer, click the "Subscribe Now" button above and sign in. You will be billed in one installment of $59.85. This offer expires September 23rd, 2010 at 11:59pm PT. After the expiration of the promotional period, your account will automatically renew at the rate of $29.95 per month in accordance with the Terms and Conditions of Service.

If we're keeping score...

Went on a date last night, kind of maybe leaning towards friend territory. Could be because the three dates have been kind of spaced out. Date #1 - drinks, Date #2 - lunch, Date #3 - dinner.

Anyway, the scene.
9pm, after a long day for me... Swim, work, spin. So I'm tired. Ethiopian restaurant, near my house. Very chill, kind of random vibe - bar in the front, homey restaurant in the back with a pool table. We're ordering and I ended up asking for a Bud Light. I wanted a beer, but really knew that I'd pass out immediately if I had something more substantial. I expressed my embarrassment. We laughed at my choice and discussed appropriate times for such beers*.  Ultimately, he said,

"That's okay. You've got cool points to burn."

Nicest thing a guy has said to me in a long time. 

Oh, and I still ended up finishing dinner by saying that, despite the fact that I was enjoying talking with him, I needed to go home and go to sleep.

*San Francisco is so not a Bud Light town, which sometimes sucks. I like a Coors/Miller/Bud Light now and then.

This just in.

Saw a friend was tagged in a photo album posted to Facebook. The album title? 

FALL 2010

Is there some sort of future photo feature on Facebook that I don't know about? Because I'd love to do a search for "My Ridiculously Awesome Wedding to my Brilliant, Hilarious, Caring and Hot New Husband" if that's the case.

Over and out.

I wish they all could be...

I felt so very Californian for a lot of this weekend. Some of this is "any big city" sort of stuff, but whatever. Exhibits:

• Delicious Peruvian dinner on Friday night
• Trail run in the cool fog in Golden Gate Park out to the ocean
• BART ride across to Oakland for a vegetarian ChineseVietnamese* on Saturday night, complete with vegan homemade ice cream cookie sandwiches for dessert
• Swim in the Bay on Sunday morning in the warm California sun
• Feel jealous of all the outdoor brunchers as I'm riding my bike home from the Bay
• Meeting LRM for an outdoor brunch in Pacific Heights
• Walking around SF in a somewhat scandalously short sundress
• Enjoying a soy frozen yogurt with ollialaberry sauce
• Hours of girl talk with a friend who happens to be within walking distance
• A slightly sunburnt nose
• 40 mile bike ride with a fellow triathlete, again in the warm sunshine, but with arm warmers - because you never know
• Margaritas on a friend's sunny porch. Again, rocking a sundress.
• A $51, full hour, shiatsu massage (so $61 - including a 20% tip) in Japantown. From Mr. Miagi's slightly-younger brother. Legit.
• Coloring my hair, at home, on a whim. It's not that different, just a little lighter and warmer.

*Thanks, MW. I was just going off of the fact that it's in Chinatown in Oakland. Ha.

I am a geek. I love geeks. And this photo.

Happy Friday, all. I'm off to go label some office equipment.

Just show up.

Just as much as I like a solo bike ride, swim or run (lately, I can't say the same for just going to the gym)... I also really enjoy coached track workouts, spin classes and Crossfit (starting back up again in a month!). You just show up and do whatever you're told to do... and, provided you put in your 100%, you get better. Of course, that's not to say that sometimes it's challenging to pick yourself up and GO, especially if you know it's going to be a tough workout.

From RoadBikeReview's newsletter -

Wicked Wednesdays

Every Wednesday evening, my bike club hosts an interval workout on a hill at the local university. The climb takes 5-6 minutes and we do it 6 times. Rain or shine. Darkness or daylight. Forest fire or student protest.

Our coach refers to these sessions as Level 5 or anaerobic threshold workouts. Even if you pace it perfectly -- negative splits, each interval faster than the last -- it hurts. I'm talking root-canal, tax-audit, "I-think-we-should-start-seeing-other-people" pain.

I begin dreading Wednesday evenings around bedtime Tuesday. By Wednesday lunchtime, I'm feeling nausea that has nothing to do with my midday meal of organic yam and raw kale from my Biggest Loser lunchbox.

Then I show up at the workout and scan the group to see what fresh dose of humiliation awaits. Last week it was the 65-year-old guy who dropped me like a tub of Grecian Formula. It was inspiring. Really.

A few weeks ago it was the one-armed dude. OK, he had 2 arms, but one was in a sling. He flew past me like a, um, person with fully functioning body parts.

Did I mention the 50-something mom? The 15-year-old lad who I swear was on training wheels last month? Both quicker than me. A fellow could choke on all this inspiration.

Why keep at it? Like most cyclists, I'm stubborn, masochistic and a little delusional. All this toil and trouble have to make us stronger, right?

Plus, I do eventually finish ahead of some people -- the ones who come to one Wednesday and never return.

I may not be fast, but I'm pretty good at one thing: showing up.

Comment

(If you enjoy reading Scott Martin, the eBook Spin Again contains 181 of his witty, sometimes wacky, and occasionally heart-felt observations on road cycling. Click here to enjoy 3 classic Spins again and place your order for instant delivery by download.)

Extra stuff be gone!!!

I need to do some massive de-cluttering/getting rid of stuff/organizing . My apartment is tiny, which means I don't really have that much extra stuff, but I would to prefer to get rid of things I don't use and live more simply and with less clutter. 

Unfortunately, I am feeling tons of guilt about throwing things away! There are environmental reasons, sentimental, and tons of other excuses for holding on to unnecessary stuff. Reading the post linked below helped me out with some of that... honestly, the "finding a new home" sounds like the best solution, but also the most involved. And I want this to be as quick and painless as possible. Yes, I am lazy. (Which is why I'm totally rewarding myself with a cleaning service post-declutter.)

Also, starting this project is daunting. I'm hoping to go with the one-drawer-at-a-time approach, but if anyone thinks that just making a weekend of it would be better, please comment! I need help!

The Wastefulness of Decluttering; or How to Make Less Count for More

Saving water at Portland International Airport

Portland International Airport (PDX, for you frequent fliers out there) is pretty great, as airports go. A few local (read: non-Sbux) coffee shops, a "Shop Oregon" store and some decent restaurants. I used to spend a LOT of time there, back in my Silicon Valley days.

PDX is now saving 177,000 gallons of water EVERY EFFING DAY by upgrading their toilets to those super cool dual flushers.

I wanted to get an idea of what 177,000 gallons of water really looks like, since it's hard to imagine - and really, if we don't get what kind of difference we're making, it's really tough to appreciate the statistic. So, I Googled 177,000 gallons of water. I didn't really think anything would come of this one, but...it turns out that Norwalk Maritime Aquarium (listed on the Best Things to do in Westport, CT site) houses 177,000 gallons of water.

The Maritime Aquarium is approximately 140,000 square feet (13,000 m2) and has more than 177,000 gallons of water in its live animal exhibits. On exhibit are more than 2,000 marine animals and reptiles representing in excess of 300 species.  

So yeah, an aquarium holds 177,000 gallons of water. PDX is saving that amount DAILY. That's a lot of aquatic habitat, people. Cheers to you, PDX!

Dude. I'm a local.

Ok, I'm not about to claim OG status, but I'm not a tourist, either.

(Not that I hate tourists. Ok, some of them... like the ones that don't follow bike traffic common courtesy on the Bridge and the one that hit my friend HW and caused her to break her elbow. The rest are welcome anytime.)

Also, woo-hoo overturning of Prop 8!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Iceland PM weds partner as gay marriage legalized

Iceland Prime Minister Johanna Sigurdardottir officially marries partner on the day gay marriage is legalized

By Associated Press

 

Iceland's prime minister has married her partner under a new law legalizing same-sex marriage in the country.
One of her advisers, Hrannar B. Arnarsson, said Monday Prime Minister Johanna Sigurdardottir and writer Jonina Leosdottir were officially married Sunday, the day the law came into force.

The pair has been in a registered partnership since 2002 and had applied to have it converted into a marriage under the new law. No ceremony was held.

The law was passed without a dissenting vote in Iceland's parliament June 11.

Social Democrat Sigurdardottir, 68, became Iceland's prime minister last year, after the previous center-right government was ousted by a wave of protest triggered by the country's economic crisis.

AP: "Oil Leak Wouldn't Fill Superdome" - Who Cares?

sad

online dating update...

1. getting fewer emails from guys who don't fit my geographic preferences, which is great
2. was emailing back and forth with a guy for while who seemed pretty cool, but i haven't heard from him in a few days. i don't really get excited about anyone that i've never met in person, so i'm not concerned about it. i may write him a little hello later, i may not. this indifference probably shows through in my emails and may be one of the reasons why i haven't gone out with anyone yet.
3. i have a variety of pictures up on my profile - sporty, silly, dressed up, casual. a (guy) friend who's also on okcupid read my profile through and said that it was different from a lot of other women on the site - he said that pretty much every other profile states something about how she's comfortable at a baseball game or the opera, jeans and a tshirt or an evening gown... that sort of thing. instead, i've chosen to show that with pictures. so what do i get? a one liner from a guy who says, "it looks like there are three different girls in your pics. how am i supposed to know which one is you?" uh.... yeah. obviously the swim goggles aren't a permanent fixture, nor is the pink wig.*sigh*

so yeah, okc may be on the way out, unless i email with someone that i really want to meet in person. tough to compare online and in-person. just had an awesome hour-long phone conversation last night with a guy i met out on thursday night. what?!? i don't even like talking on the phone. and it's been a long ass time since i've talked to a guy for any length of time*. we're going out on friday. we'll see. i think this may be the second (maybe third?) time i've actually gone out with a guy that i randomly met at a bar.

*you may recall the triathlete? he was the most awkward phone person of all time. after our first 10 minute conversation (i generally limit my long social calls to a handful of friends and my mom), i hung up the phone feeling confused. i waited a few minutes. thought about what a strange call i just experienced... and then called him back to ask him if something was up or if both of us were just being awkward. he confessed that he is really bad on the phone, that it wasn't me. i never called him again. texted to do last-minute planning, email for a little communication and then talked in person.

Summer red wine recommendations from SFGate...

I like wine. I like wine year-round. I like chewy reds and crisp whites. I like pairing wine with food, I like wine alone. I like the smell and the taste and...

I also like this line,

 Americans have some peculiar beliefs about red wine, not the least of which is that bigger is better. In a world of linebackers, lighter red wines are the misfits in the hallway, the ones getting all emo and wearing black nail polish.

Read more: http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/c/a/2010/06/20/FDVP1E05RQ.DTL&type=wine#ixzz0rbEw4Z5k

Words of wisdom for today...

1. I ran through the park today. It's great on Sundays - there's a fairly long stretch that's closed to cars. Also means it's a great spot to take kids out who are learning to ride their bikes. However, if you put a bicycle helmet on your child (and, despite the fact that I'm mostly fine and rode around helmetless until age 22, they should wear a helmet), the front should be parallel to the ground and the chinstrap should be fairly snug. After seeing so many kids with their helmets on wrong... backwards, unsnapped at the bottom, far back on their head - fully exposing their entire forehead... I'm convinced that those safety stats that say that helmets are useless should go back and look at how the helmet was worn, prior to the accident.

And yeah, I see it on adults - the helmet really far back, mostly. I kind of feel like they're just being idiots and the kids don't have a choice in the matter.

2. DO NOT do this:

1. Go for a sweaty 10 mile run 
2. Come home and juice ALL remaining fruits and vegetables in your fridge, so that you don't "waste" anything while you're on vacation for the next week
3. Chug said concoction because you're thirsty 

Because...You WILL throw up (a little) in the shower

Ok, maybe that would have worked if I didn't have a bunch of kale, two stalks of broccoli, a little spinach, two apples, one lemon, one beet, two carrots, 0.5 cucumber, half a bunch of radishes. Yeah. Totally gross. That's not to say that juicing is always gross, mind you. The beet, carrot, apple and spinach would have worked just fine. Or some kale and broccoli and other things.

Anyway... vacation awaits...taking my mom on an Alaskan cruise to see the glaciers! (Yes, it's pretty much the best birthday present EVER.)

Apparently, I *do* come with an operating manual

http://howtodateatriathlete.com/

BYWH

Two weeks ago it was Hot Guys Reading Books. Today, I bring you Before You Were Hot. It's entertaining in that "OMG Make-o-ver!" sort of way, a little bit of ugly duckling -> swan transformation, and then there's the reminiscing about old fashion trends.

Also, today's post features a triathlete. Dayumn.

Have we met before?

The latest (not a direct quote, but pretty close to it):
You look really familiar. Maybe we know each other from somewhere, or I've just seen you around town. You sound interesting. Want to go get a drink.

My response (also not exact, since this *is* the NOW WITH MORE SNARK edition of the Online Man Safari):
Yes, dumbass. We went out once. A few years ago, when we were both on Match. You said you were 5'8" and you're actually about 5'4". Since I know that shorter guys do tend to inflate their height a little bit, I gave you the benefit of the doubt and purposely wore flats. Height aside, you're also not that bright. I know this because I have the sense of humor of a 12 year old boy and you didn't get my jokes.

Oh, and your band sucks.

dating snob

Yay! Comments...

M-dub said...

I love More Snark!

And agreed that "wassup" + wifebeater = meh, at best. (Was that the tattooed bicycle racer?)

---------------------

Nope. Of course, the (cute) tattooed bicycle racer hasn't written me back yet. Not even to say "wassup"... and even though *he* initiated it.

The wifebeater'd wassup guy. Hmm... Well, as it turns out, his *only* picture is the one where he's rocking the wifebeater. And it just so happens to be a Diesel wifebeater. Yeah. 

Otherwise, it's been pretty quiet. A few randoms here and there that say hello and then I say hello, thanks... but no thanks because xyz (usually due to geography, age, interest, something aside from "I don't find you remotely attractive.") Gotten enough emails from guys who live far away, so I've added a line in my profile that says that I find it enough of a challenge seeing my friends that I can't get to via BART/MUNI/bike ride (xoxo San Jose ladies!) and that I'm not interested in seeing someone who lives far away. Still got a guy from San Jose who wrote back AGAIN saying that he's in SF "all the time." Crap. Just say "I don't have a car and don't want to go out with someone who lives in SJ," or ignore? 

It's stuff like this that makes me realize that pictures and a profile are super important. Oh, and that I'm a total dating snob. If I thought that he was super attractive or hilarious or we had a ton in common, I'd probably suggest we get together sometime when he's in SF. But, based off four pictures and a few lines (his profile is really short and vague and uninteresting) of text, I'm saying that there's no chance that it would work out and just saying no. Oh well. There are plenty of dudes out there that aren't knocking down my (online) door....

snarkfest 2010

Oh, right. So I'm single again. Shocking to all, I know. Clearly, I'm devastated.

And again considering (that's what happens when you write a post, then save it) online dating. At least just having a profile up somewhere. Of course, that went so well last time.... Yeah. Why am I considering doing this again? Because it *is* kind of fun. And it's tough to meet single, straight guys. And I just read some stat - like 20% of all relationships start online now! Crazy, huh?

Anyway, if there's anything you think I should definitely put in my profile, let me know. Lines you'd use if you were making yourself a page, a story or topic I should touch on, a type of picture I should use...

Some of the questions include filling in the blanks: I am __________, ____________ and ___________.

What people first notice about me...

......
So far, the best thing is that there's an iPhone app for the site. Which means that on my Sunday evening train ride back home from a bike ride, I could respond to the tattooed, cute former bicycle "I've been slacking on the miles lately, perhaps I just need to find someone to motivate me" racer, that I was just returning from a sweet ride up near Sacramento.

Unfortunately, I haven't figured out how to turn OFF the chat option on my phone. Chat transcript:
bud: hi
me: hello there, you surprised me. i didn't realize that chat was on.
bud: wassup

Really? This is not a beer commercial. You can do better than that. Also, I'm a sucker for nice arms, but your initial profile pic is not the time for a wife-beater.

That's right folks, online dating with Kirby, part II (?), this time with More Snark.

Make sure you celebrate...

Alert! This week is American Craft Beer Week!

Luckily it started on May 17th, not on May 16th. At Bay to Breakers (May 16) I consumed Coors Light, Bud Light Lime, Jello shots and Maker's Mark. None of those scream "craft beer." Though someone crafted the Jello shots. And Z was crafty in putting the Maker's into a more portable container for me (A cooking sherry bottle. Classy.).

Anyway, back to American Craft Beer Week. Check here to find out about events in your area. At the very least, celebrate with a delicious local brew sometime soon. 

Ouch.

I'm taking this way too personally. But still...

What if Elena Kagan is not married and childless because she is a closeted lesbian or because she has chosen her career over her personal/love/family life...
what if she just happens to be single because she never met the right person (be it a man or a woman)?

I know plenty of people who fit into that category. Or what, you can't make those assumptions until someone hits some certain level in their career (man, it'd be pitiful if I claimed that one) or age (what, 45? 50?)?

Gulf Oil Spill

I've been avoiding learning too much about the Gulf oil spill, just because it is so incredibly depressing. I finally did some research for a work newsletter. Here's some info and a few sources about the basics...

The oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico saddens and enrages me. The oil rig explosion was responsible for 11 deaths. Now the oil spill is damaging wildlife, ecosystems, and local economies and fishing industries – with no end in sight. Participants are blaming each other for the failure. Let’s take a look at some of the key players and facts surrounding this tragedy.

Companies:

BP Oil – Leases the oil well

Transocean Ltd. – Built and operated the oil rig, Deepwater Horizon, that was leased to BP

Halliburton Co – Poured the cement at the wellhead

Cameron International Corporation – Supplied blowout preventers that allegedly failed

Brief timeline:

4/20 – Explosion and fire on the oil rig

4/22 – The oil rig sinks, oil slick is visible

4/23 – Search for 11 missing workers ends

4/25 – Coast Guard estimates that the sunken well is leaking 1,000 barrels of crude oil a day

4/28 – Controlled burn on the oil slick to remove it from the Gulf. New estimated flow of oil is 5,000 barrels per day (210,000 gallons per day)

5/5-8 – BP tries to use a use a containment chamber to cap the oil leaks. Containment dome fails.

5/6 – Oil from spill makes it to shore at New Harbor Island, LA

5/7 – Fishing ban is expanded and extended to 5/17/10, efforts made to contain spill circumference

5/17 – BP reports that they are now capturing 20% of the 210,000 GPD flow and funneling it into a tanker ship

Sources:

NOLA, NOLA, Reuters, Newsweek, NPR

ADD... Click for link & to embiggen.

HGRB

Into guys? Into smart* guys? Into smart, hot guys? Add this to your Google Reader (RSS feed, whatev).






*Ok, if you've clicked on the link, you might think... book reading doesn't necessarily mean they're intelligent. Yes. That's accurate. You can make up whatever story you want to go with each photo. My hot guys reading books are generally brilliant.

Race report - Wildflower Long Course

I like reading race reports. This one is long, but it's for a long race...my first half-Ironman distance triathlon :)

Race: Wildflower Long Course Triathlon
Date: 5/1/2010
Course conditions: Not nearly as hot as it could have been. 80-85deg, sunny, some wind, some chop in the water.

Nerves: Very high in the week leading up to the race. Heck, high in the MONTHS leading up to the race. I figured I was in way over my head. Day of? Scared, but focused. THREE port-a-potty trips prior to the swim. Started on empty, as usual. Stupid stomach.

Wave start: Pros, then men, youngest - oldest, then women, youngest - oldest. My 30-34 age group started at 9:15am. So I knew I'd be biking and running in the heat.

Participants (finishers):
Overall: 1,727
Men: 1,268
Women: 459
Women 30-34: 104

My stats:
Overall rank: 634
Gender rank: 81
Age Group rank: 19

Swim: 1.2 mile lake swim, rectangle pattern. Comfortable (w/full wetsuit) temp. Well marked. Started towards the back on the inside. Minimal kicking/hitting, but I was in a crowd most of the time. I was overall pretty happy with my sighting and my pace seemed steady. The return was pretty choppy and I definitely swallowed some lake. Yuck. As I understand from later waves - and even the next day - it continued to get worse. 
Expected time - 45:00
Actual time - 40:33, pace 2:05 (I'm guessing that's 100 yds)
Overall rank: 1017

T1: 4:44
I have no idea what took me so long, but I know I wasn't rushing like I do during sprint or Olympic distance races.

Bike: 56 miles. Up. Flat. Up. Up. Up. Up. Up. Down. Some headwind on the second half. I'm surprised at how little of this I remember. I spent over two hours out there... what the heck was I thinking about? Anyway, I ended up riding mostly with 45+ y/o men, played leapfrog with a couple folks. Did not have aerobars on my bike. Might have used them during the flat section, but I'm comfortable in my drops and figured I didn't need to add something new to my already (fairly) new bike. Tried to hold back my speed a little to save energy for the run. Loved hearing cheers from my fellow SF Tri Club racers and spectators, as well as a handful of other friends out there. Encountered some stomach cramps, especially in the last 10 miles (luckily, after Nasty Grade & Polar Heart Rate hills) because I mixed my Cytomax too strongly. I kind of felt them starting earlier and ended up exchanging bottles twice and just got water, in effort to calm my stomach down.

Nutrition: 1.5 bottles Cytomax, 1.5 bottles water,  1 Clif Mojo bar, 0.5 Clif bar, 1 Clif Blox stick, 2 (?) Clif Gels. (Clif, if you find this, pleeeeeeeeeease be my sponsor.)
Expected: 2:30
Stretch Goal: 2:20
Actual: 3:21:53, 16.6 mph
Overall rank: 847

T1: 3:05
Totally passed up my transition area and had to go back to find it. Sprayed on some sunscreen. Stomach is pissed off at this point, did not drink any more sports drink or have a gel here like I normally would.

Run: 13.1 Up. Up. Up. Up. Up. Up. Down. Sun. Over half of it was on trails, some which were very rocky. Found a coach from my gym and ran with him for a mile or two, shouted out to a couple of SF Tri Club members... pretty early on, another woman tell me to go chase after "pink shirt girl," who was in my age group (I did, about mile 8 or so and told her I had been chasing her. I meant it nicely - like she was fast, but unfortunately she had slowed down a lot and I don't think it came across too well. Oops.) Spectators make a big difference and helped to push me along. Unfortunately, some of the more challenging sections aren't really cheerleader friendly, so I had to just get focused and keep going. Managed to keep running the whole time, which I understand is kind of uncommon on this course. There's one uphill in particular where everyone just started to walk. I passed quite a few people there, despite my slow, laborious jog. Found that three of them did end up passing me after, but the vast majority did not. I remember wondering about this hill during my training weekend. Better to walk (hike, really) or run slowly? Regardless, I was scared to walk, because I thought that I wouldn't start to run again! My hips and knees were a little sore, but no major pain. Oh, except for about 2/3 of the run when I thought maybe I had asthma, I was breathing so hard.

Had a nice sprint finish. I had been running mostly with men, but then suddenly spotted a woman right behind me. She could have been in my age group, for crying out loud, so I took off. Have no idea where that energy came from. Oh right, I'm competitive. Mostly with myself, but I was not about to let her pass me at the very end like that.

Nutrition: Eventually, my stomach calmed down, though never enough to have a lot of Gatorade (on the course) or Clif Blox (in my pocket). I had Gatorade at 2 aid stations + water, 2 orange slices, 2 Clif Gels.

Goal: 2:00
Actual: 2:02:14, 9:19 min/mile
Overall rank: 473

Total:
Goal: 6:30
Stretch goal: 6:15
Finish: 6:12:29

After: Okay. Tired. Really out of it. Minor periods of lucidity and high energy. Thirsty. Really effing thirsty. Quads and hamstrings and hips very, very angry. Later... some more stomach cramping. And then later... enjoyed some beers and they were delicious.

I cannot be the only person who reads "Cinco de Mayo" and thinks of a condiment, not a holiday.

Cow -> biodiesel -> Amtrak

Amtrak's trying out cow-based biodiesel on some of its trains. Nice.

Salon article here.

Issues I have with this piece:
They're concerned about biodiesel harming rubber components in the engine. Yes. This is correct. But why not just take the safe route and replace those with synthetics? (This is what is done in older diesel cars and trucks so that they can safely use biodiesel)

Also, biodiesel not ONLY reduces carbon-dioxide emissions, but also reduces Nitrogen Oxide and Sulfur Oxide (NOx and SOx), both of which contribute to poor air quality and health problems, such as asthma.

I don't know what acylated ghrelin is, but it makes me hungry.

Last August, I posted a Time article about the science between exercise and weight loss, along with some of my own anecdotal evidence that more exercise does not necessarily mean more weight loss. Of course, I'm my own exception - I have lost weight while training for my half-Ironman. So, yeah. There's that. But that's been way more intense than your usual workout, so probably not a good example.

Anyway, just read another article along the same lines... basic idea is that weight loss occurs from eating less, but exercising is what will help one maintain that new, lower weight. That's cool. Lose weight and embrace a new lifestyle, one that includes exercise.

And, I also have science now to back me up as to why I am hungry for days after a tough workout. And also, as the author points out, another reason why life is unfair.

In it, 18 overweight men and women walked on treadmills in multiple sessions while either eating enough that day to replace the calories burned during exercise or not. Afterward, the men displayed little or no changes in their energy-regulating hormones or their appetites, much as in the other study. But the women uniformly had increased blood concentrations of acylated ghrelin and decreased concentrations of insulin after the sessions in which they had eaten less than they had burned. Their bodies were directing them to replace the lost calories. In physiological terms, the results “are consistent with the paradigm that mechanisms to maintain body fat are more effective in women,” Braun and his colleagues wrote. In practical terms, the results are scientific proof that life is unfair. Female bodies, inspired almost certainly “by a biological need to maintain energy stores for reproduction,” Braun says, fight hard to hold on to every ounce of fat. Exercise for many women (and for some men) increases the desire to eat.

Full article here

balls. balls. balls of cake.

Cake balls: The new new cupcake?
Quote of interest:
"Cake balls have a lot of things going for them -- their homey appeal, their variety, a giggle-inducing name -- and Americans are always looking for the next trendy dessert. But given the remarkable amount of sugar involved, it's unlikely that they'll ever reach the kind of widespread popularity of the cupcake (which enjoyed a considerably more responsible cake to frosting ratio)."

TJ's Sustainable Seafood Showcase Showdown

Trader Joe's (love. love. love.).

1. Has moved away from the plastic container of four apples
2. Now offers some veggies/fruits in compostable plastic trays
3. Is going to be offering sustainable seafood ONLY in 2012
4. Is huge on BYOB (bag)
5. Offers many customers with their first organic experience - so many products are offered in regular and organic - or organic only
6. Sells the best effing pumpkin butter out there
7. I heart the hell out of their bottled curry sauces
8. Fantastic prices on nut butters, including organics
9. Smoothie enabler - good prices on frozen berries
10. Wine and beer. Wine and beer.

Yeah, they're not perfect. But #3 is pretty huge. Good job, TJ's.

As the linked article points out, YOU can make this switch a lot quicker, since you don't have to deal with contracts and shit.
Check, it -
Fish guide from GOOD
My fave - Monterey Bay Seafood Watch. I have the app on my phone - it even lists fish by their sushi names!

some...

Some links:
http://www.patspapers.com/blog/item/what_if_everybody_flushed_at_once_Edmonton_water_gold_medal_hockey_game/
This makes me laugh.

As a kid, I was convinced that if I swallowed a piece of gum, it would stay in my stomach/intestines for seven years. I don't know where the seven came from, but this post makes me think that there's some truth to that - http://missionlocal.org/2010/03/street-science-the-gum-we-step-in/

Some news:
The relationship with the triathlete is still in progress, despite my continuous worries that I'm going to fuck it up.

My birthday happened. It was fun. I love my friends. 32 is not horrible.

Some PSAs:
One more week to get your Easter candy, folks. Those Cadbury's Mini Eggs won't be around forever (thank goodness)!

Sunscreen. It's important. I forgot to put it on this weekend and, while I love having a little color, I don't want skin cancer or wrinkles. Or this stupid bike jersey tan line.

Another benefit of running...

Earlier this week, we were encouraged to drink wine (occasionally) to maintain our weight. Now we're supposed to keep on (or start!) running to have a more active sex life (at least according the the British study discussed in the linked Telegraph article):

One in ten joggers said that they have sex at least once a day and three per cent of joggers said they have sex twice a day.
Amongst non-runners one in four (25 per cent) said they had sex once a month or less.

music and feelings and broccoli

1. Mixtape recommended by one of the many food bloggers that populates my Google Reader. Mash-ups. Iz good. Download it naow.

2. Website: We Feel Fine.

How it works:

At the core of We Feel Fine is a data collection engine that automatically scours the Internet every ten minutes, harvesting human feelings from a large number of blogs. Blog data comes from a variety of online sources, including LiveJournal, MSN Spaces, MySpace, Blogger, Flickr, Technorati, Feedster, Ice Rocket, and Google.

We Feel Fine scans blog posts for occurrences of the phrases "I feel" and "I am feeling". This is an approach that was inspired by techniques used in Listening Post, a wonderful project by Ben Rubin and Mark Hansen.

Check it out. There are a few different ways to visualize the results, as well as limit it to certain populations of authors. I may throw up an "I feel" statement every so often, just so maybe it can become part of this design project.

Right now:
I feel unfocused.

3. Things with "the guy who likes weirdos" are going pretty well. I'm finding that I have to be a lot more explicit about what I want and need than maybe I'd like, but he seems to be a pretty fast learner, and open to some change. So I'm going to continue to ask (a little at a time) and see how it goes. If nothing else, I'll leave him better than I found him, right?  

4. I hurt my neck. Either at the gym this morning, or within the last hour. It hurts all along the right side. I want a massage.

5. My birthday is in two weeks. I don't really care. I'm not excited about it. I feel a little inadequate when I think about what being 32 years old used to mean to me - as in, my mom had my younger sister when she was 32. What about all the shit that I thought would have happened by now... like a house, a job where I have an office with a door, a husband, a child...It's like I need those things in order to "be an adult."
Which, is bullshit.
A. Why do I want to be an adult? and
B. Of course, there are plenty of things I've done that I never would have thought I would do... get my MBA, live in San Francisco, get rid of my car, essentially be Kirby 2.0, triathlons, own a pet, live alone.
C. 32 is not that old.
D. Really, what I want is to be happy. Whatever that means for now.

6. Looking forward to travel this year. Alaska and Peru. Plans have been kind of stalled, but I am going to make it happen.

7. Half ironman is less than two months away. I am nervous.

8. I have a head of broccoli and half a head of cauliflower in my fridge that should get cooked tonight. But I'll be getting back home pretty late. Any fantastic ideas? Also - and more importantly, how on earth do you cut either of those vegetables without getting little bits of cauliflower/broccoli all over the place? I cut up half the cauliflower last night and have cauli-crumbs on the floor, the counter... wtf? HELP!

9. I decided to write nine things because it's the ninth. Hmmm... I love Easter candy.

Wine with dinner: WIN!

Red wine drinkers gained least weight

Women who drink wine 'less likely to gain weight'

Women can enjoy a tipple and stay slim, according to a study that shows moderate drinkers gain less weight than teetotallers.

Women who drank red wine gained the least, but the results held for other wines, beers and spirits. 

...
Those who drank no alcohol gained the most weight, and there was an inverse relationship between weight gain and alcohol consumption.

PUA confirms what we all know...

I just read an article filled with funny, anecdotal evidence about the craptastic dating scene (for straight women) in San Francisco. Thought you'd be amused as well.

Oh, and my latest man safari update? I'm "dating" two guys, but am pretty sure that I want/need them to be merged into one person. Do I decide which qualities are actually more important to me? Or, just move on? For now I'm having fun with both of them for different reasons and want to get to know them better.

From SF Weekly...

Girl Game: A world-famous pickup artist tried to teach single women to attract decent guys in SF. It was harder than he thought.

For the next two weeks, it seemed the guy always wanted to sleep over at Valencia's place in Hayes Valley, which she initially didn't think was unusual. But as time passed, she started to suspect that her new love interest was intentionally keeping her out of his home.

It turned out he didn't have one. She was dating a homeless man...

"I continued to see him a couple more times," she says. "Then he dumped me."

Although Valencia has yet to meet anyone else who has been seduced and then dumped by a homeless man, the whole ordeal strikes her as "very San Francisco."

-----
"I've never seen so much dating down in my life," a woman wrote, referring to how many couples she knows that seem to include a smart, attractive woman and an average, barely tolerable guy.

...had better luck in cities like Paris and Chicago, where she says men are forward about what they want. "They'll buy you drinks and talk to you," she says. "They act like they're interested, and it's so refreshing." 
 

In San Francisco, though, women have to deal with a lot of ambiguity. "We don't even know what it is," Valencia said of some men she has encountered around the city. "Is it gay? Is it straight? Is it a friend? Is it a foe? Is it looking for a job? Is it looking for a place to crash?"

Another contributing factor to the dating doldrums: "There's no pressure to grow up here," she says. "The way I act now is pretty much the same way I acted when I was 24. It's culturally reinforced here. Nobody cares that you're in your late 30s and have roommates."

-----

...there are 60,045 single heterosexual men and 68,749 single heterosexual women in the age range we examined.

-----

[the women trying advice from a pick-up artist] "We were on our way out, but you guys look ... interesting," she said. "We just wanted to come say hello and introduce ourselves."

Though a bit weirded out, the guys offered us seats, and even asked if we'd like beers.

That was easy.

The conversation meandered from North Face apparel to Mad Men to the Carolina-Duke basketball game, and finally the men asked us what we were doing that night. We said we were part of, um, a seminar. "We're learning how to pick up men," Walters announced, seizing her opportunity. "How are we doing?"

Looking a little taken aback, the men said we'd done well, and that it was refreshing to have women come to them. But they weren't entirely impressed. "You focused a lot of your attention on him," one said, indicating his friend. "It was a little aggressive." Another awarded us a B-plus.

We left the Tipsy Pig without getting any numbers.

-----

[at the next bar]...And, finally, there were two men off in the corner. They were hot.

Soul beckoned to Stevenson and Pattee and prepped them on how to approach. They should be casual. Smile a lot. Flip hair if necessary.

They slowly made their way toward the men, stopping every few steps to whisper something about strategy. They didn't want to blow this opportunity. But when the women got within about five feet of the men, they abruptly turned and hustled back to the group.

"Gay," Pattee explained.

"How do you know?" Soul asked.

"We just know," Stevenson said. In fact, the men were practically sitting in each other's laps.

-----

"He's jammin' the clam," Stevenson joked, using the female version of "cockblock."

-----

Valencia said her mother has a theory about men. "A good guy is like a good bra," she used to say. "He should uplift and make you look beautiful. He should fit really well. He should flatter you and never poke you in the wrong place or make you uncomfortable."